We make many decisions everyday. I will tell you about two things that could make that optimal decision the worst.
The reason you can't decide.
There are two things to disturb your decision making.
Anxiety about what surroundings think
Obsessing with past that you did so far
- Anxiety about what surroundings think
This is a waste of time and your cognitive cost for the following reasons.
a. Nobody can't take responsibility for your decisions
b. What other people think are not your business
I explain about these each.
a, Nobody can't take responsibility for your decisions
the surrounding people say whatever they think, but no one takes responsibility for your actions.
Whatever the outcome, nobody can take responsibility for your decision. Except you, no one can take a responsibility for your actions. So it is absurd to outsource your life to others easily. Your actions are what you did and no one can be with you, it is fundamentally wrong to blame others for your actions. We need to be responsible for our own decisions. It can be understood by looking back on the history of humanity that a big mistake is occurred when an individual loses responsibility for their decisions.
Be prepared to take responsibility for your decision. This is very important. By the way, those who want to know more about the vulnerability to people 's synchronized pressure, please see "How people are likely to lose synchronization pressure easily." You should choose the information from the surroundings and decide your own actions by yourself.
b, What other people think are not your business
As I often write it in my articles, what other people think is't your problem. This is a separation of tasks in Adler psychology. You don't know how others think, and it is not a problem that you can change. There is no point in thinking about things that you can not understand even if you think it how much. Therefore, the question like "How will other people think?" is nonsense. Rather it is better for us to be more sensitive to what we ourselves think. It is much more important to understand this. About that, please see "How can I have confidence? The way of thinking to have confidence".
2. Obsessing with past that you did so far
This thought is useless. Importantly, decision making becomes dull at the moment when you're caught in the past. Now is most Important. It is called the Concorde effect. People are distracted by the fact that they have invested so much in the past. And the feelings that want to get them back make your current selection mistook. Caring about the time, money, and effort, which you spent on it in the past will blunt the right choice of you. That is exactly a waste. let's stop.
The past that you have invested in it so far has nothing to do with your current decision making. It is very important to separate these and think about it. I think people who can not do this will be obstinate.
From now on, mindset that think based on now is important. With the tremendous change of society, the knowledge and skills that have been effective once are easy to become obsolete. As a result of thinking on something that has nothing to do with the current decision making, such as the effort, time and money that you have come up to now, if you try to stick to old knowledges and skills, decision-making will be mistook naturally .
Rather, what is always the most important thing is what is the best now. Let 's abandon the obsession with the past and live now.