human relations mind

how not to care about what others think about you

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we concern about surrounding - "how other people think", "how I appear to others", "whether I'm disliked by people or not",etc -. It's because that's how we are designed. The anterior cingulate gyrus of the human brain are active when the opinion deviates from others. This part is the part that detects various errors. The brain has no choice but to care about others. This time, I will tell you how to get out of the negative feelings by caring others feelings.

the way not to care about what others think about you

We can choose what is the facts by ourselves, - for example, "someone dislikes me", "I'm loved by others", or "I'm not needed by others"-.
These are simply mean that you interpret the reality subjectively in that way and It's not depend on whether It's a observable fact or not. However, if you interpret that way, brain deal with like that way too. I will use two of important ways to change this world to a world full of peace and a wonderful person for you. Let's escape from negative feelings by using it well.

We don't understand others

Be gentle around you

. We don't understand others.

First of all, as a premise, stop thinking as if we can understand other people.

Although we often intend to jump to conclusions about other people, but it is important to understand that we don't understand others because most of our recognition is more or less wrong. It is rather arrogant that you think you can understand someone. There is no way we can understand other person because he/she is not you but someone else. You can't get out from a offensive world while you misunderstand that you can understand the feelings of the other person. You will continue to think being attacked by other people in spite of the fact you attacked you.

Let's realize that it is your imagination and your interpretation that you think others thought in your head. Because what you think that is the feeling of others is yours, it must be what you can operate as a creator.  First of all this attitude is important. The owner of your head is you at any time.

2.Be gentle around you.

Based on 1, the outstanding effective method to make the world around you gentler is that you do not have hostility toward other people. When you think what others are thinking about you, what you refer to is yourself.

People use myself in many situations to understand others. So when you guess others' feelings, you would refer to what you feel if you were in their shoes.

So, if yourself is tolerant to others, others are likely to be friendly to you in your delusions.

Then one more pattern is you don't have confidence in yourself. If you are losing confidence in yourself, you will see everything as negative in your delusions. In this case, you need to become tolerant for yourself. As for this, please have a look at "If you are confident how you can have confidence, important things to have confidence", please see it.

ポイント

1, It is arrogant that you think you can understand others. keep in mind that you can't understand others.

2, When you guess others' feelings, you reffer to yourself.If you think kindly of others as you want to be done, you meet kindness in your head.

This is not effective in cases others are really attacking you but effective in cases you just care other people think. If you are really said badly by others, please see it. "to win the game with others."

It takes time to make thinking into a habit, but it will surely change you. Let's be an inhabitant of the wonderful world with this thought!

By the way how to make thinking into habit! Please see here.

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いずみ (Izumi)

I will study human brains at graduate school after going through business person. May humankind be happy after this evolution of the world. It's easier to change ourselves rather than others. Update yourself.

-human relations, mind
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