"Should I quit my company?" , "I do not want to go to school, but..." , "Should I try this?", "May I contact him?", like that, there are many things to decide in our life.
I will tell you about important steps to make the right decisions in three parts. This is the first step.
1, to clarify your purpose
Why are you hesitating to make a decision?
Are you suffering from wanting to be in a sentimental mood? Otherwise, let's stop worrying and think about it. Just thinking about "what to do" is never advance your thought, it is a waste of time and cognitive costs. If you want to make the best decision for yourself, what you need to do is ride the foundation of thinking first. You are not in the step of thought when you are worried in most cases.
To decide the correct answer for you, the material you need for that is in your head, just you don't notice yet. The first thing you need is to unravel it and It's simple but not easy.
Clarify what you are aiming for.
Well, why on earth can't you make a decision?
"Because I do not know which is the best for me." Yes, exactly right. then, what is the best for you? This is the first step and the most important step. When we are suffering from "I do not know what is the right answer", there are many cases we don't know what we want. Oops, before getting angry with "I know that!",please try to verbalize it once . What is the best for you?
Mr. A ”I'm thinking whether to quit my job or not. ”
Mr. A ”Because I always have to work overtime and my salary is low. anyone can do my work so I don't think I'm gonna be a better business person, I'm just wasting time. Recently,I don't have motivation and I wish weekdays never came. "
ーwell, then why don't you quit the job?
Mr. A ”If i quit my job,I'll bring trouble to those around me. And my boss will be anger very much. And then I feel miserable like running away even though my colleagues are active.I will be said to be foolish. Besides perhaps, I can't change my feeling even if I change my job. I also don't have a confidence to get a new job properly....."
―At this point, Mr. A does not know why he can't quit the job and what he wants. Importantly, we don't understand what we can not explain briefly.This is true. Einstein left a certain word.。
This is very important.
The thing Mr. A must do this time is to clarify the purpose of the selection. This is the criterion for selection. Why Mr. A is thinking whether to quit his job or not? What is the purpose of him? To raise his salary? not to be scold by his boss? to be just relax?
case study. 2
Mr. A "Well, I wanna live more happily everyday! it's may the most important things for me."
ーGreat,It's very simple. Then what's the important for you to spend happily days?
Mr.A "It's ....."
―If he can't answer this question, this time his answer was too simple. "But not simpler",right?
What people feel fun is different each other. For Mr. A, if "whether he can spend happy days" is the most important for his job choice, Mr. A needs to think about what is the happy days for him.
case study. 3
Mr.A "It’s the most important thing for me to be smiling from the bottom of my heart with people around me. I don't like my job, while I'm just escaping reality on my day off, I quickly recall my work and I feel bad. Even my friends spill out complain and everyone is saying bitches, but this is not the ideal."
ーSo what's the important for you to keep smiling everyday with your friend?
The correct answer depends on people
Repeat this one by one. And this answer is different for each person. Besides, this may be updated gradually. Just worrying without considering what you are seeking is synonymous with wandering the maze without exit. We will not hesitate if there is a correct answer like the problem of four arithmetic operations. We hesitate as we aren't confident of our correct answer. And there is no correct answer for everyone in the choice of life because people are different from each other. Think about the correct answer for yourself. That is the most important step. Once decided, if there is a sense of incompatibility, update again, that is repeated.
If you answer this answer with the words of others, it will be hard for you to live. I think that it is one of the root of the difficulty of living of Japanese.
As for this problem, it is written in "The disease of seeking correct answer. Why is it difficult for a model student to living?".Please see it if you are interested.
Well, the next time is (2) to have the strength to truncate.